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This week we’re looking at the questions you need to be asking and the questions you need to ask yourself…
Recently at a team training, I had someone ask “what’s the one thing I need to do for my business?” And I get this question a lot. Even at my large company convention, this is a question I get asked, in the hallway, in the elevator, after speeches... What I really want to do is sit down, look them in the eye and say “what do YOU think you need to be doing for your business?” How often are we just seeking someone else to tell us the next step? It never really works for someone else to give you the answer.
You have to explore your own mind! A few years ago, I attended a John Maxwell training event. During the coaching training session, they had bags set out with balls in them. The activity was to get a partner and one person would juggle the balls and the others would coach them. It baffled me at first! When I first started my business, when people came to me for advice I would just tell them what to do. Oh, how I do things differently now! On the juggling exercise, I just kept thinking… I don’t know how to juggle, how can I tell someone else how to?! During the exercise, they taught us that you don’t even have to know how to juggle to coach someone else. You just have to ask the right questions! I could have been saying things like “what isn’t working?”, “what’s something you can try next?” or “what part of it is working?”
In order for you to coach someone to do something you don’t have to be an expert, you just have to ask the right questions! The heart of the coaching process is self-discovery, awareness, and choice. As a coach, when you ask them the right questions it helps them to self discover and lets them become aware of the choice they have to make next. If you’re just telling them what to do they’re not going to own their choice.
Two weeks ago, I was driving to Bible Study where we’re studying Jennie Allen’s book “Get Out of Your Head” (IT IS SO GOOD!) I was thinking back to the question I was asked at the team training, “what’s the one thing I need to do for my business?” and thinking that it would make a good podcast topic and BOOM! It popped into my head that Jesus asked good questions. I was thinking about it and he really did that a lot. He always seemed to answer a question with a question. He was trying to bring about awareness and invoke self-discovery. Ultimately it goes back to “good leaders ask good questions”. I literally googled “questions that Jesus asked” and there are tons of them!
Here are a few examples…
“What are you looking for?”“Who are you looking for?”“What do you want me to do for you?”
“Who do you say I am?”“Do you want to get well?”
“Who touched me?”
“What do you want me to do for you?”
“Do you believe I can do this?”
“Why do you call me Lord, but not do what I say?”
He brings the questions back to them! One of my favorite questions on that list is “do you want to get well?” I coach a lot of people that are sick physically or that have major mental blocks. But I’ve run across people that I don’t think to want to get well. I don’t think anyone can get unstuck unless they want to. They’ve got to be willing to dig in and do the work!!
You can ask someone “what are you avoiding, resisting, or procrastinating?” and if they’re willing to put in the work they can really get unstuck! Once you know about this concept, you’ll be finding yourself asking a lot of questions. To your spouse, kids, coworkers, or teammates, there are so many opportunities for growth building questions. If you give them the questions they will self explore and see what they need to do to make the change!
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