80| 5 Things I learned on Sabbatical.

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Hey, welcome back to the Prosperity with Purpose podcast. I am Jessica Hefley, and we've got some things to talk about today about my sabbatical 5 lessons I learned from my sabbatical. Okay, so sabbatical, what is the sabbatical? What is that all about? I actually took almost two months off from my coaching practice and I am going to tell you why I did it, what what that means, what I learned from it. But first let me preface loud and clear are I am not your boss. I am not your holy spirit. Don't go telling ever to whoever your superiors and say, “Well Jessica told me I have to rest for two months or life won't work, my business won't grow.” No that is not what I am saying. What I always say is you have to listen to what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you. Everybody's life circumstance is different. I definitely had a different 2023 year then you did and I'm gonna tell you a little bit about it because it was a lot so this is just sharing my experience, the lessons that I learned, the fruit and the gifts and the blessings that I gained from taking some time off. Okay because I got sick and tired of saying over and over and over again life is so busy, life is just so busy. I got tired. I'm tired of hearing other people say that. I got tired of myself saying that. I got tired of that being the story of my life. So I made a radical change, and one of the those 5 reasons is it just doesn't happen on purpose. We're gonna get down. Let's get let's just get into it. The number 1 reason, the lessons that I learned from my sabbatical. Okay, so 2023 here we go here's what happened we built a house have any of you ever built a house before? There's lots like go into it. Lots of emotions. Lots of money. Lots of time. Lots of thought lots of decisions. Lots of lots lots lots of things so throw on building a house on top of our family has drastically changed in the last year and a half. We have gone from Rob being home with us almost all the time having a really flexible life. So grateful through Plexus the right network marketing company that is our bread and butter that's provided for lots of options and freedoms for our family and my husband was still just looking for something that was like his to do. I believe that men are called to work and provide and have something that was his and so and anyway some he's had little backstory on me and my husband's marriag, he is the dreamer of our marriage. He has always had ideas like I remember when he first got married. He's like we're going to be millionaires and I was like I can't even fathom that what does that even mean? But people like us that stuff like that doesn't happen to people like us. I had so much of a poverty mindset of thought and no one ever told me that I couldn't do that. It was just naturally ingrained in me from from my life experiences. You know my dad worked really, really hard his entire life in a factory. You know 9 to 5 like swing shift. So sometimes he worked midnight sometimes he worked days sometimes he worked afternoons. You know, steel towed boots and safety goggles I grew up with the work ethic that you worked hard for not very much money. You worked hard but you went in debt every single Christmas you worked hard but everything you owned was used, old, falling apart. You know you had a good life. You never went without but there wasn’t extra and so the concept of dreaming for me wasn't even there. It was never tapped into there, so I'm very thankful for my husband in that. But anyways, so he’s had lots of business ideas over the years, and they're all really hard to beat when mine costs 34.95 to start, $35 and folded 7 figures year after year after year, so it's just a different model so he had lots of business ideas that cost a lot of money to start. Hurt or alone to start in debt or you know and he had lots of ideas and he always calls me the dream killer but I like to call my call it discernment. I shot down a lot of those ideas and thank goodness I did because when the right one came around the right one came around. And we were able to do that. We bought Arkansas sportsman. It's a gun ammo supply store, all your needs in that tactical arena and then and that's in Atkins, Arkansas, a small town. It’s where we kind of used to live and then so bought that one and then opened a brand new one, Graybeard Ammo. Graybeardammo.com, check it out in Conway Arkansas where we where we currently live and have lived for about 4 years where we have our community, and it is a it is an amazing thing. But it's been a lot of work. Okay, so not only do we have ammo subscriptions guns tactical needs all of those things ,but there also is a jujitsu gym attached and he really had this vision. He has such a heart for vets first responders. Just men to have a place to go to to hang out to to belong more of a community. So. It's way more than just a gun store. It is a place to be to belong to and it's a man thing. Okay, but anyways. So I'm very excited for him very thankful. He has an amazing team. We have multiple employees 2 locations business loans, 2 bills, taxes, debts all the things but it's growing. It's you know it's a traditional business. So it's going to take multiple years to see the income from that anyway, it has transformed our life from my husband being home a lot to my husband being gone almost every single day getting these businesses started. All the stress, thought management and people that come along with that is a lot, and so that on top of us building a house and living in a renthouse. Can we just talk about that for a second? Because we had a great rent house. We were so grateful for that rent house. But when you're living in something that's not you like not your permanent home. It's just like it's hard, and so I had to do lots of. Ah, at work very often on just just around that just around not being in the place where I didn't have any space and have any extra none of us had like y'all like we love each other. We love each other a lot but somebody just nature own space just need to to see get away from everybody else for a minute. Do anyway. All that to say we also had I was involved in 2-3 different masterminds last year. I'm not doing only doing one this year so I have learned that I'm very much and I love to and intake information. I love to learn, I love, love, love, love, love ,love, love but this year I'm committed to create more than I consume. And so I have really scaled back on that. I will always I still have a coach, of course, myself because I have made a commitment that always if I am a coach, if I am coaching you, if I am coaching paying clients and I will always have a coach myself that is just a no brainer for me. That is absolutely dream for my life and I constantly need someone to run things by someone to help me see what my thoughts are creating for me. Someone to be a sounding board for me, someone to to help bring out blind spots for me. That is just a a must for me and the beauty of it is is every time, where I sort through those things, work through those things, have a breakthrough in those areas, I then have the authority to help set you free in those areas to the authority and the wisdom and the experience. So. It's a beautiful thing anyways, all that to say it was a lot going on last year there was a lot going on last year and right around October is when we moved into our new house. And so it was just like I was just feeling the weight of ah of it all it just was a lot and and for me again, this is not February this is just my story I got tired of saying my life is so busy. Life is so busy. Life is so busy. Like I would have local friends that wanted to do something and I found myself saying I can't I've got this going on or this going on I just didn't have the mental capacity for it anymore and so I decided to make some radical changes because I didn't want to say life is just so busy I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life I didn't want to die saying my life is so busy I wanted to be. Fully present I wanted to enjoy it so back to my 5 lessons number one rest equals trust and trust equals obedience.

Let's unpack that shall we okay so many people are working are working their businesses and living their lives. Never resting which means they're never even giving God a chance to show up for yo,u to provide for you in miraculous ways, to to do things for your business to send you the context to send you the person to download that supernatural idea that is going to transform your business. To give you that marketing idea, to give you that quote ,or that post to go and put on social media if we're just going ,going, going, going, going. Also what happens then the only person that would get the credit is you? Apart from me, you can do nothing is what the Bible says, and so rest is an example and a time and a chance for you to trust over and over and over and over and over and over. I've been reading through the Old Testament I'm like trucking through I've never done this before. I like read it reading it this fast, honestly like, I love the Bible. I love to read the bible. Love I've been more of a new testament person, but I am like wait a second. There is a lot to unpack and all the beauty and a lot of truth and a lot of things that from the Old Testament that I need to read more and understand more. So anyways, it's probably been since college since I have read the entire Bible all the way through, and when you're a freshman a hoarding in University you're required to read it. So I don't know how much of it actually did you know way, way, way back then? Anyways, it's been really interesting and so the Bible recap I highly and highly recommend that helps you. There's a daily reading plan and you can listen to the free podcast, and she helps explain like what's happening. Culturally, what's happening in that time how to make sense of it all because it's it's confusing. Okay, if you're not familiar with it. Even if you are familiar with it or if you've never read the whole Bible before there are some weird stories going on that may not make sense when you're like only focusing on it right there. But if you take a step back and see the big overarching picture of the entire Bible it is a love story of God longing to redeem his people, to bring how He rescues his people and they forget about it. They sin so bad things happen somebody else comes along he rescues his people. They forget, they send like repeat repeat repeat repeat, but Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice that saved us from all the sin and punishment and sacrifices that we should have been required to do or that we deserved. He took all of that for us. Anyways, that's a whole other episode.

Let's go back to rest equals trust. Rest equals trust. It is relinquishing some control to somebody bigger than you and also is obedience. Okay, it did not make sense for me for to and to over two entire months to not be trying to get new clients. I mean we we built a house! Y'all , if you've ever built a house under budget or right at budget, congratulations! congratulation! I actually don't think that that is possible. Is that even possible? So all that to say we needed the income. The income would have been a nice thing to have so in the natural this is also how things work in the natural. It never makes sense to take a break. It never makes sense to rest. It never makes sense not to work not to go for it, not to do more but over and over and over in the Bible and talked about Sabbath. He set it apart for us. And I have seen over and over and over again if you do not set that time apart in some way he's going to make you whether you're going to have a nervous breakdown or you're going to get physically sick or something else is going to happen like it. It is required but that's not in like they're required of like this is that rule that't require. It's a blessing that we are missing out on if you set aside the time to rest and truly operate from rest instead of work, work, work, work, work, work ,work burnout. If you are resting on the regular, and then you can then work from a place of rest. What's fascinating to me when I was learning about I was learning about Jewish culture like back Bible culture like to learn about how they did things and why they did things and you know why we don't do the things this day to this day. Maybe we need to do more of the things today in this day and age but the Sabbath started at sundown which is really fascinating. It started with rest. You would think oh no, the sabbath starts in the morning you wake up and you get to it? No sabbath started with rest. It started at sundown. It started with sharing a meal with those that they love it. Started with remembering the Lord.

It's started with rest.

Isn't that fascinating? Isn't that countercultural to the world that we live in? I want to be countercultural to the world that we live in. I don't know about you but you probably you, too if you're here and you're still listening. So anyways, I found that was fascinating ,rest equals trust, so it really wasn't exercise in trust for me the Lord was whispering and over and over and over again, you know it's time to take a rest It's okay to take a rest actually I want you to take a rest Jessica. He clearly told me, He's like “I want you to take the holidays to enjoy with your family ,to settle your children and your husband into your new home, to find rest and rhythms with your family in your new space. I want you to rest and enjoy.” Rest equals trust and trust equals obedience to what the Lord has called you to.

Number 2: change does not just happen. Your life is not just going to slow down. You have said it, just let me just ask you this question, how many times have you said? “Okay, but once this happens then life will slow down, once that once we get to this point life will slow down, once this thing gets off our to do list or this thing gets done or this project or this then life will look different. It'll feel different. It'll be different.”

That's not me just clearing in my throat ,that is me asking you did it ever happen, probably not. I can almost promise you it is not because change does not just happen. It took radical decisions on my part. Radical changes on my part. It was not easy to slow down. It was not easy to do this. It was not easy. My husband who was in the in the midst and the throes of these 2 new businesses which I was seeing signs of burnout. His physical health wasn't doing well. Seeing signs of burnout in him, believing that this is what our family needed, and God was calling me to lead the way in this to lead by example in this for me to slow down, for me to attend to my husband, attend to my family, to to show the example of what it looks like to live a slower pace life. To say no to all the activities and possibilities that are among us even and it was just just during the holiday season. We could have done something every single night but it is okay for you to make the most important things in your life the most important. Actually when you do that, I believe your business will be even more blessed because you're prioritizing your family and your marriage and when those things are solid, when those things have the attention and the thought and and the the rhythms and the systems around them to help them function properly and with health your business will thrive also because you'll be.. You'll be able to truly focus on your business because the health will be increased in the other areas of your life.

Anyways, change does not just happen. It is hard. It is hard to say no. It is hard to recalibrate. It is hard to rest if you are someone who is a doer and a worker and a succeeder and a planner and all those things. They’re hard, but Biblically, I just got to go back to the Bible over and over and over and over and over and again, it talks about rest a lot. And our dear friends I've taught Cedar Rock Ministries If you guys are unfamiliar with that I talk about that ministry a lot. It's a phenomenal marriage ministry and that does marriage retreats, personal marriage retreats. It's unlike anything you'll ever, ever, ever have experience. We used to serve on the board for them. It is like an experiential experience on how to connect with yourself connect with your spouse and connect with the Lord but it's really, all around rest as Well. So check that out Cedar Rock Ministries.com but change does not just happen. I mean times over but im will say again change It will not just happen. It is going to take you making powerful decisions making powerful changes that will affect the rest of your life. So I was I was to the point I was ready. And I was willing and I was not willing to not make powerful decisions for life to not be so busy number 3 some people will not understand. Okay, when you cancel when you say no, when you don't show up to something that you had committed to or promise to like some people will not understand this was one of my fears is when the Lord was whispering like you need to do this, and I'm like nope but wait lord like people had signed up for my Mentorship! They had signed up for the program they were expecting me to show up. They're expecting me to be there. They had already paid ahead of time and so I had to work through a lot of those things but I had the but I had to go back to rest equals trust and trust equals obedience and it was so beautiful I taught on so I started this the beginning of November. The lord told me this to do this in October, and it was like when I finally decided and put it out there when I finally decided, and I told my my current old members and the old leading ladies program now it's “Prosperity with Purpose.” It's completely revamped completely different. There's some similarities but it's it's very targeted a twelve week mentorship program called prosperity with purpose www.jessicahefley.com go o find all the information out about that. I want to lead by example and everything I do. At the beginning of November I taught on rest I taught on sabbatical I taught on rhythms I taught on obedience to god I taught on radically changing your life to not be so busy. And you know what it was so well received I pivoted I obeyed the lord and blessing came and had the conversations with people that had to come up conversations to I had to refund people if I had to do it. There's a couple of things that I had to do and everybody was great with it because I was walking in obedience to the Lord and when you walk in obedience to lord blessing comes not sorrow comethwith okay, um, and you know what the people if there is somebody who doesn't understand like if you make a choice to rest or do something different or or change your rhythms or something and you have somebody that doesn't understand. The best way to help them understand First of all, it's not your responsibility to make them understand. It's your responsibility to do what god's called you to do but your living example of your life being different speaks for itself. It will speak for itself when they notice that you're a person of purpose who lives on purpose. When they see you living a life that is more peaceful, more restful, more intentional or you have gotten off the hot mess express that speaks for itself that speaks volumes I will say it again. The overwhelmed leader can't help other people who are overwhelmed. The anxious stressed out person can't help people who are anxious and stressed out and that's why this is so important you are a person of purpose who lives on purpose and that's going to take some slowing down to recalibrate on what your purpose even is. It's going to take some slowing down for your life to not be so busy. Moving forward number 4 this one was really interesting to me technology depletes rest. Ok so let me explain this so there were certain days you know during Christmas vacation. The kids were home and I would find like at the end of the day I like oh that was so restful like we would have family dinner at the table we would play a family game. We would maybe watch some episodes of the chosen and you know I would kind of maybe organize an area of the house and journal read my bi like all these things I'm like. Felt really restful and then I noticed a couple of the other days where I would kind of like I would be talking to Robin bed that night and be like what did I do today I I literally did nothing today I laid on my butt was on the couch all day long like in my robe all day long. And I was watching like mindless Youtube videos with the kids scrolling scrolling scrolling my phone scrolling my phone some more scrolling my phone some more you know just eating snacking laying there doing nothing and at the end of the day I was like in the world. Was like again from the worldly standards my but physical body was resting see notice the air quotes but I did not feel rested and that is the difference that is the difference that you have to be aware of that that technology can deplete your rest. Okay, when you're scrolling scrolling scrolling. You're comparing yourself to everybody else. You're looking at what everybody else is doing. You're just intake intake intake. You're made to create by the way and so if you're just intaking intake and intake watching Youtube videos watching this intake is like something about that is not going to feel restful because it's not your you're calling your calling is not to intake. Calling is not to just be a sloth on the couch like and so it was just really interesting. So I thought I wanted to share that with you guys just be mindful of during your rest time maybe making the choice to cut back on technology or cut back on the scrolling. What am i. Favorite weeks of the entire year we go to pine cove family camp out in South Carolina each year with our some friends and with my family there isn't cell service there. There is at some of the main buildings but in your cabins and just around the campground There is not cell service and I turn my phone off for the entire week. Like I turn it off like it's off. It's not like oh let's every time I go to the they um the meal the meal the meal cabin boom five hundred notifications come through and let me see what everybody else is going on in the drama and what's happening in the world and the latest news and did know it's off. And I sleep amazing I sleep amazing that week I wake up rested that week I go on walks every morning my mind is clear I hear from the lord I end that week and so restful there is something to technology that depletes to rest so just wanted to share. That with you just wanted to share that little nugget you do with that what you want too. But ok so number 5 also from part of the the fifth lesson I learned from my sabbatical was a renewed purpose a renewed purpose on what I am called to do again. So many people have this fear whether for themselves or for their team or for anybody else have this fear. Like if someone someone takes a day off, a week off, a couple days off, if someone rests then they're going to love it and become lazy and never come back. So, contrary to popular belief, rest does not mean that you will go fall in a hole and stay there forever. I mean if that does happen to you we need other things that got to be involved. There's some underlying, possibly depression - some other things that are there. But when you rest, when I rested in this way it renewed my purpose. It renewed my passion. It really surprised me like it was really really, really fun when I didn't have like the deadlines and the pressure to get things done by this amount of time or work on this project like sometimes when you find like. Okay, I've got a this is due tomorrow like I've got to get this speech written or I've got to get this post up or I've got to get this notes for my training like there comes a little bit of anxiety and anxiousness and sometimes we get stuck because we sit down like okay I'm going to work on this now and then nothing comes to mind or you get distracted or. So. It was really fun to sit down and journal about like the revamping of the prosperity with purpose mentorship and even the Minicourse how to get off the but mess express like I I didn't have work hours during during my sabbatical I didn't even really work hardly at all, but sometimes I would find myself wanting to sit down and journal and dream and the Lord would download ideas on what he wanted me to teach you guys, what he wanted me to show you, how he wanted me to do it. I wanted to incorporate it. I would get incredibly clear on who I serve and how to market this and just like all these and it just kept surprising me. And because it was really really fun. The creativity that came when there wasn't the pressure. So anyways, these are fascinating so the five lessons I learned from my sabbatical was rest equals trust and trust equals obedience. Number 2 change does not just happen your life will not just slow down that's going to it is going to cause you to make some decisions to make it slow down number 3 some people may not understand number 4 technology depletes rest and number 5 there was a renewed. Purpose a clarity of who I am and who I am called to serve so I really want to challenge you guys because if we're going to do prosperity with with purpose. This has to be with purpose on purpose. So how are you going to start incorporating rest. Okay I want to challenge you at the very least 4 hours 4 hours this week I want you to incorporate rest in some kind turn off the phone turn off the work. Do something enjoyable for you do something that refreshes your soul do something to really prosper spirit soul and body to rest to rest. To do it for 4 hours at the very very least and then I want to challenge you to at least you know work your way up to a day a week every week to really incorporate. This is not a legalistic thing. This is not oh my gosh, “What's the rules for this?” “Want to make sure we don't break it.” See how my voice just even changed with the anxiety and franticness of this like his load is easy. His burden is light. This is a gift to you and this is this is. Bigger than you. The reason that you are resting yes is for you. It is for you. It is for your physical body and for your brain y'all we gotta we because what I was saying I was sitting on the couch but I wasn't resting my brain rest if you incorporate regular rest. It will invigorate your work time. It will bring more passion and purpose back to your work time. So really want to challenge you to to do that and thank you again for being here you you overwhelmed business owners you you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore. That's why I am here to help here to help you handle stress. Here to help you create more peace. Here to help you make more money. We’re gonna get into those topics in the episodes coming up but hope this blessed you and I hope you are blessed I know you will by your rest this week see you next time.