I Did Not Want to Record This Episode S1, E53

 
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Have you ever listened to a podcast where the host starts the podcast off by saying, I do not want to record this episode? I'm just going to keep it real. It is November 4th, 2020 the day after election day. I am exhausted as I‘m actually sure that I'm not the only one that feels this way. Usually, we're like, Oh, I bet nobody else is feeling the same way I'm feeling. No, I'm pretty positive. Almost all of y'all are feeling exhausted today. First of all, physically exhausted. Cause you probably stayed up later than you did for New Year’s Eve. 

I just remember when I was a kid, watching TV on election night. And I remember seeing the red and the blue and you know when you're that little, you still don't even understand what's really going on or the significance behind it. But it was like the excitement of watching updates and finally seeing the winner. And I remember seeing the presidents give their speech and they all were inspirational and inspiring. There's just something special about the new leader of the world. We let our oldest stay up and watch the results last night which means the kids slept in and we were just late to school and after Rob came back laughing. He said there were so many people who are late to school drop-off. He said that’s cool there are so many people late because that means everyone was staying up watching the results. 

I made a video on my first, all Facebook wall yesterday and just had the giggles because yesterday I wasn't this exhausted. I was just having a really good day. I had an impromptu lunch with a couple of friends for lunch who share the same political views as me. We just got to talk about things. That was just refreshing to not have to filter and talk candidly.

Yesterday I was blaring, God bless America and I'm Proud to Be an American. I blared it on the way to take my son to school. And I was singing it at the top of my lungs and he was laughing and I was laughing and it was just fun. It was a highlight moment. 


I was avoiding today's podcast, I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted physically because I stayed up so late. I am exhausted emotionally, and I am exhausted spiritually. And I feel like I have been battling since the beginning of COVID lockdowns. I've never prayed more in this season of my life than I have in my entire life. And I guess, I wasn't worried about the election. I just thought it would be over. But it's not yet. I mean, technically whatever your interpretation of it is, but I'm exhausted. 

My sweet, sweet assistant who keeps me in line in this season, when life has been so not organized by the books, just asked are you going to record that podcast? But I almost just said play an old episode. But then I came upstairs and I was praying and listening to the Lord and I just don't feel like I can just pass on this one because as I teach you, leaders are not avoiders, and I want to avoid doing a new episode today. But I'm not going to do it because God has given me an influence. God has called you to this influence. I’m just going to be real about the tension where I'm struggling with because I never want to say the wrong thing. But my tension right now is between, and I want to know if you guys can relate, is that like half of me wants to fight for what's right. And operate in my authority in Christ and what I pray for.  I want to educate people and I want, what's true to come to light and that's my like, fight inside. And then my other side is like, God is in control, Jesus. We just need to rest. I voted. There's literally nothing else that I can do but pray. And so I just need to shut up and pray and only shut up and pray. And so there are these two things, right? And then I was reminded that Satan is the God of confusion and Satan loves confusion because if he can confuse people that will cause division. That will cause people to be too vocal or too quiet. And so just as a red flag for you to check yourself as I'm checking myself if you're feeling confused, that is a red flag to pause. It's like this warning sign to rest and go ask the Lord what he is saying about this. Not what your best friend is saying about this. Not what your mom is saying about this. Not what the news is saying about this. 

I just wanted to be honest about that because I thought, well, maybe there are some other people out there feeling the same way. But here's what I think is very, very important. Whether you naturally go to silence and solitude and prayer and fighting on your knees or you naturally go to speaking out and fighting for what's right. We usually have one that we're more natural tendency towards. I think the most important thing is, is you need both. I need both. We need both. So whichever one you're not operating in right now, or is not your natural tendency, I'm here to tell you it's not okay for you to just not do the other one. I feel as though there is a time and place for both. 

I just want to empower you. I'm saying God can change things. God can change things in a second. I wish we could take a break from contending and praying for our country and our future, whatever side you're on. I thought we could take a break after last night, but this was a great reminder is that it's never over contending for the truth, contending for light contending, for what is good praying your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. It's never done. 

Today is the day to rest. It's the day to surrender, to trust that God's plan is sovereign, and to be on our knees more than ever contending for the truth. And that is the one thing everybody can agree on is that the truth is made known, every vote that was cast to truthfully and rightfully and honestly be counted. That is all we can do today. So just a reminder, the tension is real, but confusion doesn't have to be real, but the tension is real between the fighting and walking in your authority and helping control a situation or fighting for what's right and true. And then also, resting and surrendering and trusting. We need a happy medium. My prayers have been this whole entire year. Ever since I saw the great division at the super bowl halftime show. Since that moment, my spirit has been like pray for wholeness because I like to pray the opposite of what I don't want to see because what I was seeing in that day was division, division, division, division. And so I'm not going to word and say things, I'm going to pray against division instead. I'm going to pray what I want to see. And so that's it, that might be a word for somebody instead of praying what your mind focuses on. It's just that simple thing. So instead of saying, I'm praying against division, I'm praying for wholeness. And just like in my COVID positive test episode, I am praying that this world is unmasked. I'm praying for healing for our country. I am praying for the truth as we all seek wisdom and discernment and I’m so proud of you guys!


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