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Hey, welcome back to the Prosperity with Purpose Podcast! I'm Jessica Hefley. We got a quick episode about regret today. Oh I've got big, big feelings and thoughts all about regret and shame. I think they're kind of different. We're gonna do a whole other episode on shame. and maybe shame is not a bad thing, but what is it trying to tell you or teach you. But today's about regret, and I view regret and shame as more the feelings that you just tend to take on when you or your identity is bad. But regret is when you just wish you would have been a different choice. You would wish you made a different decision or you wish you would have done something differently and. We as business owners cause ourselves so much pain and expend so much energy wishing we could change things that we cannot change sans from the past we have regret over oh I should have done this differently, it's literally. Sucking the life force out of you when you when you are stuck on. Oh this shouldn't have happened but this shouldn't have happened if only I would have done this differently I should have fill in the blank that did did that is totally irrelevant. It happened. You are at the rank you are right now you are at the position you are right now you are at the place you are in life right now it happened and guess what it was always supposed to be this way that was a really hard truth for me to understand because I'm I lived in this place of no, but if I just would have done this or I wish you know reeling in my head going back over the things I said I would have said it differently. I would have acted differently- how my actions would have been different, how my interactions would have been different all the I would just play this playback reel all the time until I found the phrase. It was always supposed to be this way. And it gave me so much freedom I really really, really really resisted that it ah resisted it at first meaning no, it should not have always been this way. Things could have been different did it did to do and I fought tooth and nail to keep myself in that place of pain but it was always supposed to be this way. Friends. Because it is and there's nothing we can do to change the past let that weight fall off of you right now. So I'm not saying just sit in this it was always whats up in this why and it sucks now what is life trying to get your attention at what lesson is it trying to reveal. What invitation is it is it inviting you into to unhook yourself because if we literally cannot change the past we have got to stop living in regret if we want to move forward in our true purpose. Our true calling why we are here to multi steward and multiply our businesses. To grow in those areas here we go I've got 3 questions for you to turn if you if you are if you as a christian truly do believe that god works all things for good. We're no longer going to live in the past regrets. We're no longer going to spin and swirl and think about it and oh I shouldn't this shouldn't have happened if only I had done this differently. Only I was in a different place than I am now fully. “If only this person did this.” “If only this person didn't do this to me.” Now we take radical ownership of our own lives.
So here's 3 questions when you are reeling in regret. Or when you are literally continuing to suck the life force out of you wishing you could change something from the past that you cannot if you living out the statement. It was always supposed to be this way because it is question number 1 what can I learn and what can I change about myself and my choices for next time very simply put everything into a lesson. Do not let the pain of regret go without it changing you. Not to real on it not to stay in that place forever. But what is the lesson that you can learn in that maybe your marriage failed. Maybe your business failed. Maybe your relationship failed. Maybe you regret something that you did or said to your child.There's so many different situations but to look at this from a radical ownership perspective to look at this from a person who wants prosperity with purpose. There is a lesson in everything. So what can I learn and what can I change about myself and my choices for next time.
We're not looking at what everybody else can change. What that person should have done differently, what this person should have done differently, how this person wronged me. No, what can I learn and what can I change about myself and my choices for next time? Maybe you legitimately were wronged and so this is an area for you to explore with boundaries or ways to and. What you are going to allow you to how how you are going to allow yourself to be treated whatever it is again. You cannot change the past but you can change moving forward again now course number 1 what can I learn and what can I change about myself and my choices for next time number 2 what is Holy Spirit revealing in me that I can take ownership of and he can bring freedom to. Okay, we're gonna pack this one for just a second. What is Holy Spirit revealing in me. That I can take ownership of and that he can bring freedom to okay, here's a tangible example I built a house we built a house this past year lots of feelings come up with building a house. We actually had a a pretty good experience but I have some other friends who've gone through the process of the past or gone through the process in the current. And there's lots of things that may come up, for example, “Oh I wish I would have done this differently.” “I don't like how this turned out.” “I wish I would have changed this and that.”, it's just and so incredibly painful to keep thinking, “Oh I regret that decision.” “Oh I wish I would have done that differently.”
Basically just stay with me but I want is Holy Spirit revealing in this situation that will bring about more wholeness in your life. Okay, maybe it's Perfectionism. Maybe he is bringing this feeling of regret or feeling you did something wrong or feeling you wish you not being perfect, not everything being absolutely perfect. Sometimes it's good to have something that's not perfect in your house to constantly remind you of how the lord is trying to refine the perfection of somehow you are human and you make Mistakes. You are human and you will make mistakes the the whole idea of everything not being perfect is how life will be in this fallen world. But as you bring that up is you bringing up that tendency to love like. O Holy Spirit What is this about what is this element of Control. What is this element of feeling out of Control. What is this element of I regret What is this element of I feel like I did something wrong? What is this element of I just cannot let this go? This is where you get to explore with the Holy Spirit, which is the ultimate Healer coach. But maybe something else. Maybe you it was a situation or a misunderstanding or conversation and maybe the Holy Spirit is revealing that you got some pride. Maybe there is an apology that you owe somebody. Maybe there is some selfishness that's being revealed in how you handled that situation or didn't handle that situation because it was way more comfortable to avoid it and maybe there are some laziness The Holy Spirit is revealing in you Maybe he is wanting to bring about more discipline and Consistency. What is his message to you in that. Maybe. You didn't speak up for yourself in a situation and you should have Maybe this was a time when you were supposed to fight for yourself or fight for what was right? and you didn't and so maybe that's awakened within you. Oh So many God works all things for good. So What is the lesson. The Holy Spirit is trying to reveal in you. Where you can take ownership and he can bring freedom to because when it continues to trigger us when it continues to hook us when it continues to feel so regretful that is where we don't have freedom and man he in him is an invitation to truly be free. And that may take some repentance I may take some confession to him and oh who knew who knew is going to lead to this in this short little episode. Okay and the number 3 What weight do I need to release to him here is a great check-in for yourself if you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders that is not how God designed it. His yoke is easy. His burden is light and when you're footing the weight, trying to hold up the weight of your past decisions or your regrets of your mistakes, if it's weighing you down, that is an invitation to release it to him. You are walking in true prosperity with purpose and light. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying you're gonna have to really, really, really, really work on your mindset. The majority of the time. But I if you are walking through life viewing everything as a Martyr or woe is me or This is just how it has to be. You know the Christian life is hard. I'm gonna invite you to release that. Maybe that's what the Holy Spirit is why this happened, so he could bring. I don't believe that God brings bad things upon your life. But I believe that there is everything is an opportunity to bring you about to more intimacy and more wholeness in him so just wanted to give you those 3 quick tips on what. To do when you wish things would have been differently what to do when you're feeling regret because it's going to suck the life force out of you to continue to think I want you to start catching yourself start catching yourself when you say things like this shouldn't have happened if only I would have done this differently than blah Blah blah or. If I had to do it all over I should I should have done this. You know there. It's all irrelevant. It's all totally irrelevant because it's in the past it happened it Happened. You're human you make mistakes.
But you now get to take radical ownership of your life, your choices. You now get to explore with the Holy Spirit what he is revealing in and around you to bring about wholeness. You get to release that weight over to him. So important!
See you next time, guys.