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Hey welcome back to the Prosperity With Purpose podcast. I'm Jessica Hefley and today we're talking about why people hire or don't hire a coach. But first do you hear that do you hear that noise. Those are my chickens. No I'm just kidding but if you follow me on social media, on Instagram, I have been inviting you into my baby chicken saga .We started with 14. You'll have to go there and listen to the rest. Okay, here's the phrase that keeps people stuck, “I should have this figured out by now”, “I should have this figured out by now”, or “I'm just going to figure it out on my own” those phrases will keep you in a two x hustle, hustle, hustle, grind, grind, grind, barely getting by, overwhelmed, got your hand in all the things and hardly ever resting. Okay because you're continuing to stay in the story or stay in the shame of “I should have this figured out”, “I should have this figured now” “I should be able to figure this out”, ” I'm gonna figure this out on my own”. Okay people look at me and they're like “Oh Jessica I can never be like you” or “You're so successful!” or “You're so emotionally stable.” or all these things I'm like yeah girl just get started because I've invested 15 years of coaching and therapy and learning on topics that have helped me become a more more wholehearted person. Okay think about this, if you think of CEOS of high level corporations I want you to think of Olympic athletes. I want you to think of like the top coach even in the world we would be considered like you know in the in the secular world think of like even Tony Robbins. Okay, for example, those people, you , look at them and there you would think they are the best of the best of the best they have billion dollar Fortune 500 companies. Okay, the CEOs I'm talking about they win multiple gold medals in the Olympics. They're the best of the best of the best or Tony Robbins, who you know charges hundreds of thousand dollars for his programs. Thousands and thousands of thousands of people flock to his in-person events. You would think oh look at him, “He's the best coach ever”. All 3 of those different categories have coaches. The CEOs of Fortune 500 companies have coaches. Olympians who earn gold medals have coaches. Tony Robbins who is the best of the best of the best coach has 7 different coaches - light bulb. Okay, it's not about trying to figure out on it on your own. They are aware. An order to improve in order to go to the next level in order to have a life. They truly want not something they're stuck in or not something they they hate about their job but to truly enjoy it from a place of purpose from a place of service. They need some help they need somebody with an outside perspective. They need somebody challenging the old ways their old thoughts their old ways of thinking someone challenging the story that they're living into currently, because they think they have no agency over it. They think this is just life I don't have any time I don't have enough money. My business isn't growing. My team's not doing this instead coming from a completely different angle of awareness. A completely different angle of of motivation and honestly a completely different way of viewing your emotions. Okay so I want to think about this topic for doing this podcast episode. I made a list of all of the different coaches over the years in the different areas that I personally have coached in another area, and I'm gonna show you those in just second but another area that keeps people stuck is they so they view coaching as a cost or as as an expense instead of an an investment. Hear me - you are good soil. Good soil is worth investing in because when you invest in good soil it multiplies and when you invest in you it does not just affect you. It affects everybody you come in contact with! It affects your children, your spouse ,your church, your community, your school ,your business. Okay, by you investing in you, you actually are investing in hundreds thousands potentially hundreds of thousands of people's results because of how you are investing in you. It's like such an abundant way to view this It's not what am I going to lose what money am I going to lose from this but it's what do I have to gain what is the growth there. What is the excitement there. What is the results that I can produce from this and something very special happens when you actually invest income into it. There's this beautiful concept I love that's like the exchange of value when you invest in something. It's exchanging value for value. So you're paying amount of money to receive value in exchange. The number is ambiguous. Go back to the very first episode of my Money Mindset podcast if you're like, “Oh that costs a lot.” or “Oh that doesn't cost very much.”, what if money is neutral and there's not too much or not enough amount? Okay, first let's start doing that but in in exchange you receive something. And so when I personally invest money into a coaching program, into learning something new, I believe that I will receive something in exchange. I'm going to get out of this exactly what I need. That is what I go into every training. Anytime that I am there to learn something new, I have the expectation I am going to get out of this exactly what I need and that sets the stage for me because when I come in with the posture of “Oh this person isn’t going to teach me anything I don’t already know” or “Oh I've heard that before.”, do you understand how closed off that is? Yeah, you'll get exactly what you were you were thinking. You're gonna get oh but I didn't get anything new from that, I didn't get anything written new for that or the other person or me when I walk into a training I'm like I am gonna get out of this exactly what I need. I'm either going to learn something new. I'm going to have a breakthrough, I'm going to be reminded of something I already knew. But I'm gonna be reminded to implement it or teach somebody else it or it's gonna fall in a different way because it's a different time It's a different season in my life. But yeah, take that one, borrow that one from me “I'm gonna get out of this exactly what I need.” Okay, so here's all of the areas that I personally in the course of my professional history have gotten have hired coaches in because I'm always aware of like if there's an area of my life that I would like to improve or I notice that I don't have the results that I want in them in them or I want to learn something more about or I want to get better or I know that it will benefit not just me with everybody else I go and hire a coach. Okay, there is something about, and and I'm not saying there's nothing you can't get for free. My podcast is free. Y'all are getting phenomenal free content every single week. Do ever notice like how many podcast hosts and how much inspiration you get from Instagram? How much YouTubes you watch? All of these things for free, for free, for free, for free? What a gift that's so amazing. But I believe that you might be capping yourself because if that's if everything is an exchange and they're exchanging value for value. And it's free. Can you imagine? Exponentially what you would receive when you pay what the exchange would be for value to value of the income that you put in the income that you invest in yourself. So here's some areas I've hired a spiritual coach. Like that is something that I want insight into I want to learn more about. I want somebody to mentor me in that area. I want somebody to challenge me in that area. I want somebody to help me see things in a different latitude who's smarter than me in the area to teach me things Biblically and so that's why I've hired a coach physically. But I had in the past when I didn't have results I've hired a Macros Coach. I've hired another a personal trainer coach like in different seasons. That's what I needed in that season and I got out of it exactly what I needed did I leave those sessions with a body builder body. Oh my gosh I am the bet like I'm going to go do Competitions. No. Because I didn't put in the effort to get that results and so I'm taking full ownership of that and one of my actually an episode coming up here is going to be bought a lot of shame I had around starting and stopping starting and stopping starting and stopping exercise in the recent break there I had because I talked to my coach about it so stay tuned the next to that next episode. Okay, business I've hired business coaches. I've hired someone to help look at my business to ask me questions to help me be curious, to help me set goals, to help expand my vision, expand my goals, to help me think bigger in the possibilities than I ever have before I've hired that. I've hired coaches for my mental and emotional health. I've done therapy. I did therapy for years. We've done marriage therapy, individual therapy. I love therapy. I love coaching- they both have advantages. Someone would say an unfair advantage of mine to be that why I succeeded so quickly in my network marketing company I truly believe is the years of therapy I did even before I started, because it allowed me to already have worked through some people-pleasing, to work through some boundaries. All ready to work on my self-concepts all ready to be more confident in who I am. Ready to not avoid uncomfortable conversations or uncomfortable feelings and so that really I truly believed that was an unfair advantage. I was able to work through things quicker I was able to bounce back. I was able to identify fear and move forward in spite of it or because of it and I just feel I got my Christian life coaching certification a couple about here almost two years now ago now and that accelerated everything from that from a so much quicker perspective I felt so empowered to then have the tools to help myself. Like what what I did in 10 years of therapy from just six months of my life coaching certification, I felt like I was a completely transformed person and a lesser amount of time with the tools that life coaching provided me to help my life and business move forward. I've hired a financial coaches. People to look at our numbers, so people to help us with a spending plan. People to help us with investing. I recently hired a CFO to have a high level of looking at each one of our businesses and being really honest. With our numbers where we're at where we want to go what changes have to be made. What are some things that we can implement to help increase revenue. It's been really, really, really helpful I've paid for a sourdough class y'all. It was something I wasn't good at and that I wanted to learn about so I paid for somebody and it wasn't like oh and me go find everything for free. You can find everything in the world for free. Okay, but I really think there is something that happens when you invest the money you're going to pay attention more than likely. Because you're going get out of it exactly where you need even if you don't pay attention. You will learn that “Oh I paid money from that I didn't do anything with that. That kind of hurt. Maybe I won't do that again next time. Maybe I'll actually put the time and ever did when I put the money.”, Okay, but also side note let me put it here, don't forget where I was, a lot of people join my program, my mentorship. This is fascinating to some people but I just it's not fascinating to me. It's just real life people. Invest. It's one five hundred dollars to be in my mentorship. Twelve Week mentorship and it is fascinating because there are some people who never watch any of the trainings and they invested $2500. They don't show up for coaching. They may have they may have shown up once for coaching then I have some people who watch everything who come to coaching every single week and raise their hand every single time and they get what they came for, and I and I trust that each one of them although like in my element of control I'm like well of course I wish they would watch everything and I wish they would get coach and I wish they would raise their hand they would have so much more breakthrough I know that. I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I can help them but but there is this element of trust like I trust that they got exactly what they came for. I trust that they could come to 1 coaching session and they could they could receive one nugget that absolutely changes the trajectory of their life forever and then they could even go on and say, “Oh I didn't get anything from that program. I only went to one coaching session.” and I'm over there like well I mean you got what you came for, you got that one breakthrough you had the ability to come to coaching. Every single week to raise your hand when it felt scary every single time some do some don't I believe that they all receive exactly what they came for I believe that they're gonna get out of it exactly what they need in that season. There will be life lessons that they will look back on that and think. Oh I'm so proud that I showed up for every single thing I got so many breakthroughs that was the best program I've ever been a part of or they may their thought may be ha I went to 1 session but that 1 session changed my life forever and what an abundant. To look at it. What an what an expansive way to view and how you invest in yourself and how you invest your income because shame I'll tell you what it's not going to give you the results or not going to give you what you came for if you shame and condemn yourself like oh my gosh I should have shown. I didn't show up big enough .I didn't get coached big enough. I didn't get coached enough and I wasted that money. I'm such a bad steward. Where is that getting you that is getting you that is sucking you down the shame cycle. We don't do shame over here. We do compassion and curiosity and we learn and we move forward. Okay, back to other things I've learned social media. I have hired a coach for social media. This is also so fascinating going back to the very first line of people who are like I should have this figured out or I can figure it out on my own. Okay, this is fascinating think again of the olympic athletes. They're not hiring a coach because they're not bad at what they do. They're really good at what they do. They're better than most people at what they do. They hire a coach to go even further. So actually what is the last time you allowed someone to challenge you. To go even further. This is such a trap of specially successful high achievers. They're like I've already achieved so much I've already gotten to this rank I'm already making more money than ever imagined possible when I graduated college and they just like cap themselves because no one's chat. They're not. Allowing anybody to speak into them to challenge them to give them more of an expansive view at things I think I'm pretty good at social media. It's gotten me pretty far in life that doesn't mean that I can't do better at it or improve at it or go to 2.0 level at it podcasting I was in a mastermind last year all around. Learning how to do that better learning how to get your message out there that the SEO. The difference behind the scenes things to like upload it all into thankfully I've hired all of that out I'm working in my zone of genius .I show up I record the podcast I've got somebody who edits. I have somebody who puts out the show notes in the email, and uploads it into Libsyb and gets it on Pinterest and gets it on Linkedin and gets it on YouTube, and then I have somebody else who is helping with my social media with my podcast Facebook group with my Instagram with turning some clips into these podcast episodes into reals to making quote graphics to putting more information out there for there. So I love it! I feel like I've arrived but I haven't arrived. There's always the next level. But I am truly people I also this is so fascinating because also look you still look at highly successful people and be like they have got to be a hot mess behind the scenes because. That's gonna take so much time everything they look like they're so calm and collected. But I'm like'all I am more than I ever have been in my life because I've learned how to operate and I'm learning how to operate in my zone of genius the thing that all I only I can do and I delegate out. All the rest of the things now you may be thinking oh must be nice. You can afford that arm must be nice that it takes forever to hire those people I want check you on that because yeah, you'll keep living into that story. The who not how is an excellent book on that and and all my life most of my life and I'm still evolving in this. I just hired people to kind of keep my head above water like oh I need somebody to do some of these tasks I don't want to do. Just please do these things, just handing off some things without any purpose and without any goals in it and now very recently I am learning I have got to hire people and give them goals give them deadlines give them specific things to be working towards to help my business grow, not just to hand things off on them but to have them working in their zone of a genius doing something that they're good at doing something I don't have to train them in. They already know how to do and they're good at it and they want to do it. And a scarcity trap also was like I don't know if I could find anybody who would actually want to do that for me that was one of my first growth mindsets when I first hired a housekeeper. I'm like I feel bad. They're like going to be cleaning my floors and mopping like my floors like I feel bad about that and I was like no that is such a scarcity way to think. They want to do that my house cleaner that is what she does for a living. She is good at it. She is fast at it. She makes good money on it and I don't have to do it and so I am able to bless somebody with a job bless the economy bless another family and I get to work in my zone. A genius with you. Putting out podcasts, putting out trainings to my membership, putting coaching inside of my membership and then somebody else gets to do that and it's like win, win, win for everybody. What a beautiful expansive way to look at it. Okay, parenting I've paid for parenting classes. Parenting coach to help me with some certain situations with my children because I want to I don't want to stop being like oh I'll just figure it out I'll just figure it out I just figure I don't have time for that. My children are growing fast. You don't have time to waste in the area where you are wanting to experience growth and there is no where where did this concept of shame come from around getting help. Okay, let me release that from you in the name of Jesus getting help. That's one of the healthiest, best, humblest, wisest things that you could ever do like stop living on an island trying to figure it out on your own like it is. So wise and expansive and fun to invest in an area to put your time attention resources money into something that you want a different result in that's wisdom There's oh I don't know what. My lab apples they were in the kitchen. Henry Cloud he came to our mastermind last year for 3 star mind mastermind above with Plexus and there's a verse and Proverbs that says seek out wisdom at all costs like pay for wisdom. Okay I'll but I'll put a fine it and put it in the show notes for actually let me pause this let me go find it. Okay I found it. It's Proverbs 4:7-9 in the Passion translation. It says “Wisdom is the most valuable commodity. So buy it!” that is my motto in life like if you've read the book of Proverbs. It is all about wisdom. You can find lots of great free business wisdom in there but to empty I've utilized that like oh I need wisdom. Oh this talks a lot about wisdom. Oh I need some more wisdom in these areas I want a hire coach because it is that important that I am going to spend money on it I am going to invest in it because I believe in the results that it can provide okay time management I have invested in coaches to help me with time management. I've been hiring and hiring I've invested in programs that help me know how to hire and what to hire how to hire questions to ask and interview all that good stuff I've hired to learn how to speak be a public speaker. That was not a natural gifting of mine. I've had opportunities to do that within my network marketing company in other areas and so I wanted to steward that well. I wanted to get better at something that was absolutely terrifying to me and there are so many people who are way better at at me right better at it than me and so having them their wisdom. They're also so. They call it a slipstream y'all like when you come under the wisdom or the teaching of somebody that has gone before you you can then accomplish things faster than they did so things that you know things that took me 15 .I you know I've been investing in this stuff I say fifteen years that's how long I've been married but I loved personal growth and development books even before when I was in college. I was reading stuff like like I was I only read nonfiction I've actually probably read less than 3 fiction books. That's an adult like I love it and so that's also incredibly important who are you under like who is the teacher are they at the top of their company are they the top of the area. Do they have a life that you want to have have? They created more peace to make more money. Will impart like it's a natural importation to learn underneath them, to seek guidance from them, to be coached from them because they've had breakthroughs in that area, so they have agency to help you have breakthroughs in those areas yourself. Marriage we've invested lots in our marriage and therapy ,coaching intensives like thousands and thousands of dollars in that area because it's important to us and because we got tired and worn out of just trying to figure it out on our own. And also let me let me dismiss this lie like you may have done some coaching or got some therapy or got some worked on an area of your life years ago and then it's years later and you're like well shoot I thought I already worked through all that stuff I can't spend money on that again. Like I have got to figure this out. It is such a scarce way to think about it. A beautiful expansive way to think about it would be like this makes perfect cinch I'm a completely different person than I was years ago now I have different challenges different invitations different opportunities. I'm a different person the people in my life are different people or you're finding like oh wait I'm the exact same. They're the exact same. They're still annoying me. There's always there's onions. It's layers to the onion and it's always an invitation to bring before the Holy Spirit. I also believe it's incredibly important who you learn from from a spiritual aspect. Just being careful about who speaks into your life and how and why and everything that I do and teach from is from a Biblical perspective and I do not apologize for that. There will be scripture. There will be vision exercises. There will be freedom prayer. We are going to hear from the Lord in your life and business, because that voice it should be the loudest. And most important way over mine. Always okay homeschooling. I have debated it in the past It's always a possibility for us in the future. The kids are at a good Christian school right now. But I evaluate, reevaluate that every year based on my children's needs based on the friends and things that they're exposed to based on an individual decision. But I've already gone ahead of the game and kind of learned some things about that because I don't know anything about that and so yes I have 82 tendencies. I could binge YouTube and blogs for days and days and days and days and days and learn a lot about those things I could save me tons of time which time is money. Let me say that again time is money and get that from a coach. Okay natural health, I have invested money that's in an area that is like intriguing to me. I love learning about it I love living off the grid. I love natural alternatives. It's why I am with the original gut health company Plexus because it focuses on the root cause of so many different illnesses that people think it's their lot in life that they have this autoimmune disease or whatever that the doctor said I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do there is something you can do by going to the root cause not something that a medication can fix but the root natural cause can provide a lot of healing. I love learning about that dreams like have dreams in certain seasons and so that's not something I knew much about so I've invested in. I took a course and had coaching and got lots of help with determining like learning about my dreams and like literally at night like what those mean how God speaks to us by the way. Did you know that one third of the Bible is dreams visions and prophecy. That's a pretty big chunk that's a chunk that I don't want to ignore just because of my religious background. I want to explore that with new eyes fresh eyes I want to get in the scripture myself. I want to read that one and learn about that. So anyways, those are a problem and I'm sure I'm missing some of them I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars invests sting in me my so I was talking to some leaders of their day and they're like how much are you like spending on reinvesting back into your team like are you giving people prizess? What's your budget for that, and I said without a doubt the most valuable thing I have spent money for the growth of my team is me is the coaching that I have received which then I in in turn can go and coach them when I become healthier. They become healthier. It's a natural outpouring of who you are and how you lead this is the decree that we say every single time. When we start any lesson or any coaching inside of my prosperity purpose purpose mentorship. We say this decree out loud together. We set the intention I prosper as I cast off old entanglements and run freely in abundance spiritually emotionally physically and financially as I empower others to do the same. Wholeness is a natural outpouring of who I am and how I lead that is what I have been running after wholeness that is what anybody who interacts with me who is in my coaching program or my team that will be a natural outpouring that they will receive because. What I invested because I wasn't stingy or scarce or thinking I could continuing down the road of I should be able to figure this out or I'm invested in in the past like this won't be any different I've tried everything. Yeah I've tried everything before and nothing worked you live into the Story. You tell yourself. And I choose to tell myself I'm gonna get out of this exactly what I need.. That's how I go into any and everything that I invest my money or my time in um, another thing this is sorry I'm not laughing at you. Maybe I am like we were to my laughing emoji. I am ah okay well I know that's not this is not you. But and I have had people before say Well I don't mean what would I need therapy for what would I need a coach for and I literally a laugh time I know this is not you because you are here you are here you are growth minded leaders. That's why you are here. So I know this is not you but this is always so fascinating to me when someone's like well what do I get coached on? I'm like seriously like this person is to me that person is living in denial because I get coaching. All the time even though I know the tools I put this into practice I help other people but there's always a next layer for me but I get coaching all the time any time I notice that I am avoiding something I take note of it and I get coached on any time I am aware of a really uncomfortable feeling or a sad feeling or an angry. Feeling or response or something I just can't get over if there's ever a challenging conversation I need to have or have had and didn't go as planned or I have been avoiding if there is a result in a certain area I do not have if there was like a rub. Hard and hard interaction like with my spouse or with my friend or with my family all of those if I am fearful of trying something new fearful of growth if I am scared of success aren't scared of going backwards if I. Met my goal and I don't know what to do next or I didn't hit my goal and that felt really really, really bad. All of those things or opportunities to get coached and find freedom. But honestly, all of those things that I get coached on are disguised and everyday life circumstances such as my husband left his underwear on the floor again. He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me, he left his underwear on the floor did and I noticed how angry it feels our last word a couple weeks up 2 episodes before I couldn't found my jacket. Ah, couldn't find my jacket and we were going out the door for a spring break trip and I could not find my jacket but I was able to notice oh that's making me a little bit more high-tensed than I should be about not being able to find a jacket which then was an invitation for me to unhook another layer of perfectionism. It is beautiful and I believe god has called up god. God is I have come to set the captives free that is his will for us to unhook us from these things that trigger us to allow us to live a life of freedom of service of purpose without all these things getting in our way without us trying to muscle through and figure it out on our own. It's not about what I can do on my own it's about how much more of an impact could I make with help? So I am excited for that even greater impact that you are going to make when you hire the coach I will. See you guys inside of Prosperity With Purpose Mentorship.
